


More In Sickness Than In Health

by guti



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Frogs, Hawaii, M/M, Redville, This is an actual ship now we're doing this it's now a thing, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 04:00:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6104158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guti/pseuds/guti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone was surprised when Phil and Jamie got together.  It initially sort of blindsided everyone in their social circle.  After all, they weren’t exactly a typical couple, though they had many of the same friends and very similar interests.  It just hadn’t seemed obvious, leastways not to Gary, who’d lodged his objections to the affair immediately.  </p><p>“He’s too old for you!” He’d shouted over the phone, when Phil had first brought up the budding romance.  “What’re you thinking?  He’s nearly twice your age!”</p><p>“No he isn’t,” Phil’d insisted, pout audible in his voice, his frogs chirping in the background.  “And even if he were, I don’t care.  I like him, and he likes me, and we have fun together.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	More In Sickness Than In Health

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redandgold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redandgold/gifts).



Everyone was surprised when Phil and Jamie got together. It initially sort of blindsided everyone in their social circle. After all, they weren’t exactly a typical couple, though they had many of the same friends and very similar interests. It just hadn’t seemed obvious, leastways not to Gary, who’d lodged his objections to the affair immediately.

“He’s too old for you!” He’d shouted over the phone, when Phil had first brought up the budding romance. “What’re you thinking? He’s nearly twice your age!”

“No he isn’t,” Phil’d insisted, pout audible in his voice, his frogs chirping in the background. “And even if he were, I don’t care. I like him, and he likes me, and we have fun together.”

Gary’d sputtered and fumed over it a bit more before begrudgingly accepting that this was indeed his reality and not some bizarro alternate universe where up was down and his darling little brother had gone completely mental. He just couldn’t understand what Phil could possibly see in a man like Jamie Redknapp, but if he made his brother happy, he’d be willing to hold his tongue. At least until their ill-advised affair came to a screeching halt.

But of course it didn’t, and before anyone really realized it, Jamie and Phil had been dating for almost a year. Nearly a whole goddamn year and they were as ridiculously infatuated with each other as they’d ever been. Apparently (and according to Phil) they had all sorts of shared hobbies and endless topics of conversation, and Jamie made him laugh, made him feel special. They were in love, Phil was sure of it.

“It’s hard to explain,” he said over lunch one day. “I’ve never felt this way about anybody before.”

“It’s just sex, Phil,” Gary said into his fork. The topic was uncomfortable enough without him having to explain to his brother that sleeping with someone and loving them were not mutually exclusive feelings. Not even his favorite pasta dish could mask the horrible taste in his mouth at having to explain such things. “Stop making it out to be something that it’s not.”

“But it’s not just sex,” Phil insisted, cheeks flushing a little. “I’m in love with him, Gary. And he’s in love with me.”

“Gross.” Gary choked, then reached for a glass of water, certain that Phil must be sick or otherwise deluded. That was the only right reason he could come to for all of this nonsense.

On their first Valentine’s Day together, Redders got him a giant stuffed Coquí frog, then took him for a romantic stroll through the park, where they watched children kicking a ball around. They would’ve joined in, except Jamie’d twisted his ankle a few days prior, so instead they provided the children with commentary on the game. And then afterward, (again, according to Phil) they went back to Jamie’s flat and had the most mind-blowing sex of their lives.

“Never repeat that,” Gary’d scolded his brother, absolutely aghast. “Never ever.”

“But I’m so happy!”

“And I am very happy for you, but I don’t want the mental image of you and Redders having…” He trailed off, shuddering. “Ugh! Bleh!”

“But Gary!”

Gary made a noise of horror as he hung up on him.

The problem was still mostly easy to ignore, except when it came to family functions, like holidays or birthdays. That was when everything got weird. The following January, Tracey organized a lovely dinner for the siblings and their significant others to attend, to celebrate Phil’s and her birthday. Naturally Jamie was invited. Also naturally, Gary’s Jamie was invited too.

“Isn’t this wild?” Tracey’d chortled, sipping her red wine. “Both of my brothers, dating Jamies!”

The Jamies both laughed. Phil laughed too. Gary sneered.

“You’re the better Jamie,” he said to Carra on the drive home.

“You know, it’s not a contest,” Carra said, taking hold of Gary’s hand and putting it on his thigh as he drove.

Later that night he called Scholes to bitch. He sat at the kitchen table, bouncing his knee angrily.

“And they were just staring into each other’s eyes like the rest of us weren’t even there. And then he leaned in close and said, loud enough so’s we could all hear him, ‘Happy birthday, baby. Can’t wait to give you your present later.’ And then he had the nerve to wink. He winked! Can you believe it? It makes me sick!”

Across the line, Scholes yawned. “Yeah. Sounds rough, mate.”

“It’s disgusting! That’s my brother he’s talking about defiling! And at a family restaurant!”

“That’s his boyfriend he’s talking about,” Scholes said. “What’s it been? Three years?”

“Pfft. Hardly. It’s been two. Two years of utter insanity.”

“Three in March,” Carra interjected unasked, grabbing a beer from the fridge and a pasty from the counter before joining Gary at the table.

Gary ignored Carra and snatched the pasty off his plate, shoving the whole thing into his mouth at once. “I just hate everything.”

“Chew and swallow before you try and talk, Gaz,” Scholes said flatly. “Nobody can understand you when you’ve got a mouth full of crust.”

“I know,” Gary sighed, pasty half chewed in his mouth, voice hitched with sorrow as he met Carra’s death stare with a hapless shrug. Some things just called for a tasty intervention.

That summer, they finally moved in together. Gary was appalled. First of all, their apartment was poorly decorated, which was a travesty all on its own. And secondly, now whenever he called Phil’s number, there was a chance that Jamie might answer. It happened that way once or twice.

“Hi, Gary,” Jamie’d said when he picked up the phone, a playfulness in his voice which made Gary very uncomfortable.

“Where’s Phil?”

“Oh, he’s just out in the garden, letting the frogs take in some of the evening air.”

“Let me speak to him.”

“Sure, just a second.” There’d been a slight muffled sound, then, “Babe! It’s your brother on the line.” A pause. “Yes, alright. I’ll tell him.” Another pause. “He’s got his hands covered in pond scum, can he call you right back?”

Gary’d growled in frustration before immediately ending the call.

Their engagement came as little surprise to everyone, save of course for Gary. Jamie’d gotten down on one knee (quite a monumental task, considering how poorly his leg had been doing lately) and asked Phil to be his husband. Phil’d said yes, crying tears of sheer elation, and they’d then started to make out right there in the Italian restaurant, in front of everybody.

“That’s so cheesy,” Gary’d groaned, standing in the shower with Carra. They’d just fucked not ten minutes ago and already he was back to whining about his brother (and soon to be brother-in-law).

Carra stared at him in disbelief, shaking his head. “So I shouldn’t do that, then? No getting down on one knee?” He asked.

“No,” Gary huffed. “It’s so unoriginal. Who even falls for something so cliched these days?”

“Phil, apparently.”

“He could do so much better.”

“Yeah, probably. But he’s in love.”

“What’s he see in that stupid old man anyways?”

Carra reached for the shampoo bottle and squeezed some out over Gary’s head. “Probably the same things I see in you. Now can we talk about something else? Something besides your brother? Please?”

They’d planned a destination wedding. To Hawaii. In October. Which, it turned out, wasn’t a bad time to visit. The airfare was relatively affordable and it being the off season, there were plenty of options when it came to booking the venues and such. They’d advised their friends to take a full week off. The first four nights would be spent on Oahu for the bachelor party and other celebrations before they’d all hop a chartered flight to Kauai for the ceremony itself. It would be a week of sunshine and palm trees and tropical drinks, culminating in a romantic beach wedding at sunset. Everyone seemed to think it sounded magical. Gary thought it was ridiculous.

“Hawaii? Who gets married in Hawaii?” His head was in Carra’s lap, mind unfocused on anything but the impending nuptials. He couldn’t even properly enjoy the trouncing Liverpool was receiving at the hands of fucking Watford live on their TV.

“Lots of people, actually,” Carra said, teeth clenched as he stared at the TV, fingers tangling in Gary’s hair.

“Ow! Stop pulling!”

“Stop whinging then!”

“I’m not, I—”

“Fuck!” Carra screeched abruptly. “Did you see that? That was offsides! How wasn’t that called?! Did you fucking see that? This is a conspiracy, I tell you!”

Gary only sighed and pressed his cheek to Carra’s thigh, eyes shut tight. He wasn’t happy about the wedding. Not one bit. Not at all.

He took it as a personal victory when the only member of Redders’s family to RSVP was Frank. Everyone else was either too sick, too old, or too put off by the prospect of traveling halfway around the world to attend. It just went to show, Gary surmised, that they all thought it was a stupid idea.

All of their friends, however, seemed to feel otherwise. Scholes, Butty, Giggsy, even fucking Becks would make the trip. Becks. How Phil’d managed to convince him to attend was beyond Gary’s reasoning, and yet there was his RSVP card, sitting there amongst the others. Phil squealed with delight, and Redders did too. It turned out that almost their entire social circle planned to be in attendance. What they lacked in blood relations, they more than made up for in adoring friends who’d all agreed that an autumn holiday in Hawaii to celebrate the wedding was a sound idea indeed.

“I’m just so happy they’re all going to be there with us,” Phil cooed.

Jamie put his arm around Phil’s shoulders and pulled him in close, reaching to lift his chin up for a kiss. “I’m happy you’re happy, babe.”

From his spot across the table, Gary rolled his eyes. Carra elbowed him sharply.

It wasn’t until they’d all checked into their hotel that it hit him that maybe he’d been just a little irrational about the whole thing. He and Carra were on their lanai, sipping mai-tais and watching the sunset when it suddenly dawned on him that his baby brother was getting married, that he was deeply in love with Jamie Redknapp, that Jamie Redknapp was deeply in love with his brother, and that above all else, they made each other stupidly happy. Gary couldn’t explain it, but he was at once struck by a pang of guilt, a feeling which didn’t subside until he started to sob uncontrollably in Carra’s arms.

“Hey now,” his Jamie said, rubbing his back protectively. “It’s alright, mate. You’re exhausted, and incredibly drunk. You’ve had a long day.”

“I’ve been terrible to them,” Gary wept, nose buried in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. “I’ve been terrible, just generally, but especially to them.”

“No.” Carra didn’t sound all that convincing, holding him tight. “No, no.”

Gary sniffled, nuzzling him desperately. “I’ve been an awful brother. For years all I’ve done was dismiss them, and now look. They’re getting married in a few days.”

“Those two events aren’t necessarily related,” Jamie pointed out. “They’d probably be getting married, even if you hadn’t been such a royal twat about it.”

“Jamie, please!” His shoulder shook as he cried. “I’m so ashamed of myself. How could I have been such a twat?”

“Pretty easily, as it turns out,” Carra sighed, kissing his temple. “But you had your reasons. And Phil’s not mad. Phil adores you.”

“Phil’s under the misconception that I’m as brilliant as I say I am.”

Carra laughed, grabbing Gary by the chin, wiping away his tears with a steady thumb. “Then I guess I am too.”

Gary pouted, forehead scrunching in the way he always did. “Jamie!”

“Come on, mate. Dry your eyes, finish your bevy, and let’s go down to the beach. That’ll clear your head.”

As it turned out, Gary was also easily won over by cheesy and cliched nods to old fashioned romance. They were properly engaged by the time they got back to their room. Gary was practically walking on air, he was so dazzled and delighted by Carra’s romantic gesture, getting down on one knee in the sand and proposing underneath the blanket of stars. All he wanted to do was run up to Phil and Jamie’s suite and bang on the door to announce the happy news, but Carra’d convinced him to wait awhile. They were there to celebrate Phil and Redders. It would be a dick move to steal the attention away. Besides, he hadn’t even gotten Gary a ring yet, and they should wait to pick one out first. Gary agreed, but he was just so excited, he could hardly think of anything else. Even as Carra sucked him off that night, his mind was fixed on one thing and one thing alone: This man would be his husband. His husband. His. Husband. He was going to marry this fucking man and this man was going to be his fucking husband. Fuck. Yeah.

He didn’t even think about Phil or Redders again until the alarm went off in the morning.

The party all went out for breakfast together at a beach front cafe, eating pineapples and coconuts and other fresh fruit and taking in the beautiful and bustling morning. The grooms-to-be (the younger Neville and his Jamie) were naturally the center of attention, finding themselves lei’d everywhere they went. Gary still thought the whole thing was a rather lousy idea, but he managed to hold his tongue as he and Carra sat at breakfast and made small talk with some of Redders’ (and Carra’s) old friends. He longed to head across the room, join Giggsy and Scholes and the rest of his own mates, but for the sake of shared sanity, he did his best to smile and nod and play the game. For Phil’s sake, he’d be good.

“Couldn’t believe it when I heard it,” Barnes was saying, grinning like some sort of deranged person. “Little Jamie’s grown up, getting married and everything. Always figured it’d happen one day, but I never thought I’d still be around to see it.” He laughed then, raucous and obviously amused by the whole affair. Gary noted that and filed it away for later.

The others voiced their agreement, exclaimed how proud they were that Jamie Redknapp was finally settling down, how novel it all was. Gary tried not to scowl as he listened, thinking to himself that his brother ought to be made aware of what everyone was saying about his precious fiancé, how they never thought he’d get married, how they were all shocked when he took up with someone like Phil. Someone like Phil? What did that even mean?

“It means he’s sort of…” Carra trailed off, trying to explain it, once they’d gone back to the hotel to change into their swimwear for the afternoon trip to the beach. “Well, he’s sort of not who you’d expect Redders to wind up with now, is he?”

Gary huffed, shoving the sunscreen into their beach bag. “Like how?”

“Like…” Carra furrowed his brows, perplexed.

“Like…?”

“Well, he’s pretty sweet, isn’t he?”

Gary gave his boyfriend— fiancé— a complete unimpressed look. “You think my brother is sweet?”

Carra sighed, hands on his hips. “Well he is, isn’t he? You’re his brother. You know how he is.” Gary just kept staring. “Like with the frogs. Like how he is with ‘em. He’s a bit mental over them, sure, but he’s loving and kind, right? Very gentle. Phil’s just… sweet.”

Alright, so he did sort of have a point there. Phil could take care of himself, no doubt about that, but there was no denying he had a gentle side to him, one that he mostly poured into the care of his precious pets. And into Redders, apparently. But acknowledging Phil’s innate sweetness didn’t explain why everyone was so surprised about the pair of them. Gary didn’t understand what they saw in each other, but everyone else seemed to accept it all like it was normal. Why now were they choosing to express their confusion at the match when Gary’d been confused by it from day one?

He asked Frank that very question that afternoon. While most everyone else was out in the water, the two of them sat in beach chairs, slathering themselves in sunblock, watching the gang bouncing in the surf.

“Listen,” Frank said, looking over his designed sunglasses at their friends and relations all bobbing in the water. “I’ve known Jamie my whole life, and what surprised me most about all this is that it didn’t happen sooner.”

Gary turned slowly to look at him, surprised.

“He’s had the hots for your brother for ages. Just ask him, he’d admit to it.”

“I don’t want to ask him about that. That’s too…”

“It’s a bit personal, sure. But he’s about to be your brother-in-law, Gary. If you’ve got concerns about him, you ought to be forthright and speak to him about it.”

Gary turned to look back at the water, spotting Phil and Redders splashing in the waves together. They looked so young, so natural, so happy. Gary felt that pang of guilt again, only diminishing slightly when Frank continued speaking.

“He’s a good fellow, you know, and I’m not just saying that because we’re cousins.” Frank was watching them too, more sober in his assessment. “You could do a lot worse having him as your brother-in-law. And God knows, Phil could do a lot worse in terms of a husband.”

“I know that.”

“So what’s the problem?”

Gary frowned, suddenly realizing that he honestly didn’t know.

He and Carra fucked again once they got back from the beach, despite them both being exhausted and somewhat sunburned from the day out. For whatever reason, it seemed necessary that they go at it like rabbits, and Gary practically jumped him as soon as the hotel room door clicked shut behind them. He pushed Carra back to the bed, and without much fanfare or foreplay he climbed on top of him and rode his cock like his life fucking depended on it. It sort of felt like it did, felt like he had to get all his frustration and confusion out in some way. Sex with the man he loved just happened to be his method of choice. It was rough, it hurt a little, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to feel it, feel Jamie, feel something real and heavy and good.

“You’re fucking crazy, mate,” Jamie said afterward, after Gary’d collapsed on top of him in a spent heap, a lifeless sack of bones. Jamie held him tight and started kissing his forehead, dozens of small, wet, urgent kisses all along his brow, again and again like he didn’t mind at all that Gary was red-faced and sweaty. “Dunno the last time we done it like that.”

“Don’t talk,” Gary mumbled, nuzzling Jamie’s throat. “Just breathe. Stay here. And breathe.”

“Not going anywhere,” Jamie sighed. If he was cross as being told to be quiet he didn’t let on. Instead he just held Gary close and kept kissing at the creases in his brow, the lines around his eyes, and every little imperfection that he loved about Gary.

He and Phil had a moment alone together later that night. They were all supposed to go out to a club or something, Gary wasn’t quite sure and he didn’t really care. It wasn’t his scene, it wasn’t his party, but he’d be the good older brother and participate for the sake of family. They sat in armchairs in the hotel lobby waiting for everyone to make their way down to meet them and he sat down beside Phil, with a particular look on his face, the kind that said quite plainly that there was something on his mind.

“You’re a bit sunburned,” Phil said with a smile, his own cheeks maddeningly red.

“Yes, well,” Gary said, eyeing him carefully.

“It’s not so bad though, being burnt in paradise.” Phil let out a little sigh and sat back into the cushions of his chair. “It’s so beautiful here, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Gary agreed. “It’s very pretty.”

“I’m so happy,” Phil said. “I don’t think there’s anyway I could be any happier.”

Gary watched his brother, noted the dopey little grin on his face and decided not to press things any further. Instead, he just sighed too. “I’m happy you’re happy,” he said, and he meant it fully.

Phil looked to him, eyes bright and shining like he might burst into tears, “Oh, Gaz. I’m so glad.”

All Gary could think then was ‘please don’t cry, please don’t cry’ as his brother then started laughing, and a moment later they were interrupted (saved) by the arrival of the rest of the crew, all changed and ready for their night out on the town.

The club they’d picked was a shady sort of one, a bit of a ways away from the tourist traps of Honolulu. It was dark, dimly lit, and somewhat grungy, but Redders insisted that they had the cheapest drinks and the best karaoke selection on the island, and so there they were, listening in baited awe to a truly baffling performance of “Only Women Bleed”, performed by a charming young patron who didn’t seem truly aware of the song’s heavy lyrical content. The wedding party all politely clapped as the young man exited the spotlight, and the emcee then called up the next in line to sing. After everyone reshuffled their seats to let Barnes and Redders take the stage, Gary found himself somehow sitting next to Becks, who was giving him a knowing sort of look.

“What’s the matter, Gaz?” He asked, eyebrows raised. “You look out of sorts.”

“Nothing’s the matter,” Gary answered quickly, sitting up straight in his seat. “Just… surprised you decided to come. That’s all.”

“Well, you know me. I’m full of surprises.”

Gary’s lips twisted into a little frown as he watched Becks take a long sip of his drink. On stage, Barnes and Redders were attempting to rap and the rest of the club were obviously charmed by their antics.

“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world,” Becks said, leaning in toward Gary, voice dropping a bit. “Phil’s a good lad. He deserves to be happy. Don’t you think so?”

“Of course I think so,” Gary said, ruffled, offended. That’s all he’d ever wanted for his brother, really. A slice of happiness, something, anything to make him smile. Phil deserved the world, every good thing in the world, and if Jamie Redknapp was the key to all that, well then sod it, Phil should have Jamie Redknapp too. He’d maybe never understand it, but…

Becks laughed then, smile turning almost devious then as he caught Gary’s eyes. “Smile then, Gary. Christ. You look so bloody miserable. And you’ve got no damned reason to be. Your brother’s getting married this weekend and you’ve just been shagged, so enough of your sulking. Enjoy it all and quit scowling before your wrinkles get any worse.”

Gary’s eyes went wide and he started to stammer. “Excuse me? What are you implying exactly?”

“That you reek of sex, you muppet.” Gary’s cheeks somehow went even redder than before. Becks just laughed at him cheerfully and took another drink. The club then erupted in cheers and howls of approval as the pair of performers took their bows and exited the stage.

As the party rearranged themselves at the table, Gary took that opportunity to reclaim his spot beside Carra, who’d maybe had a bit too much to drink, as evidenced by his need to display affection. He brightened at the sight of Gary slinking down beside him and put his arms around the man, head resting on his shoulder.

“Where’d you run off to?” He asked, slushing his consonants unnecessarily.

“I was on the other end of the table,” Gary said, tilting his head to that their cheeks were pressed together.

“I missed you.”

“I was literally four seats away.”

“I know, but I missed you.”

“Jamie, you’re drunk.”

“No. Not really.” Jamie laughed once, then grinned. “Not that drunk.”

Gary almost rolled his eyes but didn’t, instead wiggling so he could hold his Jamie too, and they stayed that way for the next few songs, just holding each other as their friends all made proper fools of themselves and sang the night away.

They had plans to do touristy things the next day, with some of the group heading one way and some in another, mostly divided along Liverpool or Manchester lines. Funny how that seemed to work out. Gary watched, almost sadly, as Carra and his gang of scouse ruffians departed on their adventure while he and his waited for the van that would take them to some hiking trail or other. He wasn’t quite sure on the details, having been left out of that particular area of the planning process.

The scenery was incredible, almost spectacular enough to make him forget the rest of the world and all of his troubles and just take it all in. He actually did manage to forget it all, for a moment anyway, as the lot of them wandered through the lush greenery, warm sun high above, peaceful nature all around. Quite suddenly, as they reached the crest of the hiking trail and could take in the full splendor of the island, Gary realized why someone might want to get married in a place like that. It was sheer paradise, and he was almost regretful that they’d soon have to leave.

“What’s on your mind, Gaz?”

He turned around quickly, face to face then with Scholes, who was burnt worse than the rest of them combined. Such a pity, really. Gary tried to shrug, play it all off like it was nothing.

“I’m fine. Nice view, isn’t it.”

Paul nodded, hand to his brow to shade his eyes. “Like a postcard. Can’t pick a better place to holiday. Or to get married, I suppose.”

Gary looked down at the dirt, a bit sheepish. Off behind them, the rest of their friends were chattering and enjoying the views too. “I can’t believe he’s getting married.”

“I can. He always wanted to.”

“Yes, but…”

“Remember how he used to talk about wanting to have a house with a little pond in the garden?” Scholes wasn’t smiling, but he had a sort of happy, hazy look to him, like whatever memory he’d pulled up was a cheerful one. He had this sort of fondness in his voice, a shade of affection he’d no doubt deny ever existed in his heart. That tone made Gary smile, in and of itself. He had to admit though, it was a little odd hearing Scholes say so much all at once when it wasn’t about football, and to hear him so relaxed and happy. “For the frogs, remember? And Giggsy told him if he kept on about those frogs, he’d catch them and serve them for lunch? Shite, that was a good one.”

Truthfully Gary didn’t remember that particular conversation, but it sounded more or less on the money. Phil, gentle and sweet, longing for a peaceful, stable life with someone who’d love him and let him have a pond for his damned frogs. Better yet if it was someone who liked football, someone who amused him, someone whose temperament was complimentary to his own. Redders was all of those things, everything Phil’d ever wanted, and still Gary felt nervous about it all, scared that Phil was making a mistake.

“You need to relax,” Scholes said then, giving Gary’s shoulder a squeeze which instantly tipped Gary off that the situation here was quite serious indeed. “He’s a grown man, you know. He’s allowed to make these sorts of choices on his own. And he’s happy. Let him be happy.”

“I’m happy he’s happy,” Gary said weakly.

“But?”

Gary swallowed. “He’s my little brother. Aren’t I supposed to want to protect him? What if he’s making a huge mistake?”

“He’s not a toddler, remember. He’s a grown man. If he’s making a mistake then he’ll find his way out of it. But it’s selfish to not give him the chance.”

Gary thought on that for awhile, then brought it up to Carra, once they’d all regrouped in the evening before dinner. He sat on the edge of the tub watching Carra getting ready, sighing dramatically every so often until Carra finally asked him what was wrong.

“He said I should give Phil a chance. Let him make the mistake if he wants to.”

“That’s right sound,” Carra said, squeezing some toothpaste onto his brush. “Phil’s older than me, you know. If I can make a fool of myself running ‘round with you, surely he can get a pass for cavorting with Redders, what with being older and wiser and all.”

Gary wrinkled his nose, unmoved. “I just feel so uneasy about this whole thing.”

“About the wedding? Or about Redders still?” Carra asked, mouth full of foam. He was entirely unintelligible, yet somehow Gary managed to catch every word.

“Everything,” Gary exhaled. “Am I being selfish?”

“Yes.”

“Jamie!”

He spat into the sink, looking up to catch Gary’s eyes in the mirror. A glare, as expected. “You’re being totally selfish, and the fact that you’re even asking that indicates that you know full well what you’re doing.”

“I just want Phil to be happy.”

“And he is. You know he is. So knock it off. And if you can’t, talk to Redders, for crying out loud. He’s not some demon or monster come to steal your baby brother away. You know that, Gary. You two were just fine before he and Phil started dating. He hasn’t changed since then. He’s still the same Redders, except now he’s your brother-in-law.” Carra filled up a glass with water to rinse his mouth. “You know, if you spent half as much time talking to Jamie as you did bitching about him, I bet you’d be the best of friends.”

Gary snorted. That was rich.

“I’m serious. You used to be mates. You should try and be mates again.” Carra breezed out of the bathroom then, leaving Gary alone to face his reflection in the mirror. Sunburnt, sad, and tired. He didn’t even have the sunny glow Carra’d gotten from a few days out on the beach. Gary just looked worn out. He looked old. And he hated it. Was this the result of all the stress and anguish he’d expended over Phil’s wedding? God! He looked terrible!

Frowning deeply, he stumbled out of the room and after his Jamie, threw his arms around him and whispered into his ear, “You’re right.”

They went up to Phil and Jamie’s room before dinner and found the latter sitting out on the lanai, taking in the view. Seeing this as his moment, Gary swallowed his pride and stepped out after him.

“It’s a nice sunset, isn’t it?” Redders said, not missing a beat. He had a pair of wayfarers on and about three days worth of a beard accumulated, and Gary had to admit, deep down, that from a purely physical perspective, his brother really did have excellent taste in men.

Coughing a little, Gary nodded and took the seat next to his soon to be brother-in-law, awkwardly wringing his hands. “You really did pick a nice place to get married.”

Slowly, Redders turned to face him, completely captivating. Gary felt himself get a little lost in that smile, just for a second. He was positively dreamy. “You know this was Phil’s idea. He said he always dreamed about getting married on a beach.”

Gary wasn’t sure if Phil had or hadn’t really felt that way, but he liked the thought of Redders wanting to accommodate his brother’s wishes. He liked the thought that someone loved Phil so much they’d bend their whole life and everything they might’ve dreamed of just to mesh along with his life and dreams. It made him think of his own Jamie, just for one fleeting instant, before he refocused on the main next to him, bronzed and beautiful and smiling.

“You really do love him, don’t you.” It came out as a statement. He hadn’t intended for that, had wanted to probe and prod and pull Redders apart, make him confess it had all been some elaborate ruse and that he’d really wind up breaking Phil’s heart. But when he thought about it, put his overthinking, over-analytical mind to work, he knew full well that Jamie Redknapp loved Phil Neville just as fiercely and as deeply as Phil loved Jamie. He’d been a colossal jackass thinking otherwise for so many years, for doubting Redders, for doubting Phil’s ability to tell if he was being played or not.

But Redders, bless his heart, Redders didn’t let on that Gary’d been anything but kind to him, gazing back with that wickedly handsome smile of his, sweet as you please, nodding lazily. “Love him stupid amounts, Gaz. Like you wouldn’t believe. Like I wouldn’t believe, ‘kept it’s me experiencing it, so I know how it feels, really. Never knew really what it was like to feel like this before. Never knew I was capable of it.”

‘Interesting,’ thought Gary as he leaned forward in his seat, trying not to look too obviously enthralled, or too obviously perplexed by Redders’ less than complete articulation.

Over dinner that evening, Phil confided to the group that he’d brought some of his frogs with him in his luggage, to act as witnesses to the nuptials. Most of the party thought it was very amusing, however Gary did note that Paul looked more annoyed than usual, though it may have been due to them all being forced to wear plastic grass skirts and participate in a hula dance as part of their dinner party package. He couldn’t be completely sure, but that might’ve been why.

They arrived on Kauai the morning before the wedding and spent the day in a chartered bus exploring the countryside, even making their way up the canyon. They had a fancy dinner at a fancy resort afterward and the two grooms to be were kept apart by their respective collectives for one last night on the town. Or at least, Redders and his friends had gone out. Phil had requested a nice night in with his mates. Obligingly, they’d made a stop at the Costco and stocked up on boxed wine and sandwich meats and cheeses, then hit up a convenience store for some playing cards before settling back into the suite to play a few cracking rounds of rummy. Phil was having a wonderful time, his laugh bright and cheerful over the music he’d put on in the background— Take That’s entire discography on shuffle.

If anyone else found the entertainment anything but satisfactory, nobody dared let on, partly because Gary’d gone into that hyper-protective mode again, eyes narrowed like he’d rip to shreds anyone who might criticize his brother’s ideal bachelor party. Besides, who didn’t love Phil? Who among them didn’t look on Phil as the baby brother to them all? No one would shatter his happiness, because his happiness was their own. If he was content, then so were the rest of them.

“I win again!” Butty cried out, having tallied up the points from the fourth round. He was on a hot streak it seemed, much to his own delight. No one else was taking it nearly as seriously. Phil was good natured about it though, laughing as he made his way to the suite’s kitchen to grab the second cheese platter from the refrigerator.

Noting his brother’s departure, Gary followed after him. “Phil,” he said, clearing his throat.

“Gaz, do you think you can get another box of the red before you head back in?”

“Yes, but—”

“Thank you.”

“Phil, I—”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Phil—”

“I’m so obscenely happy, Gaz. Thank you for everything.”

Gary could only watch in mild frustration as his brother pushed past him to join their friends, his last chance to alleviate his own concerns fading away beneath the excited laughter of the men playing rummy. Sighing, he grabbed the unopened wine box and started schlepping back to the living area, briefly catching a faint little ribbit coming through the wall.

The wedding would take place at sunset, which gave the attendees plenty of time to relax during the morning and early afternoon. Or rather, all of the attendees save Gary. While Phil and Redders were getting spa treatments and preparing for their big day, Gary and Jamie were tasked with making sure all of the nitty-gritty had been seen to, from the floral arrangements to the cake and catering. It was a full time job, running around the island to tend to all of the last minute details, but there was no way Gary would let anyone else handle it. It wasn’t that he was just being anal (although he was, to be fair) it was that it was his brother’s wedding and he wanted it all to be right. So he was especially horrified to return to the hotel in the early afternoon to find uniformed officials storming out of Phil’s suite with oddly shaped packages in their arms, leaving his brother distraught and sobbing on the floor.

“Phil!” Gary gasped, rushing to his side. Nobody made his brother cry! Nobody! “What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

“They’ve taken them!” Phil managed weakly. “They’ve confiscated them all!”

It took a bit more prodding before Phil explained that someone at the hotel had made an anonymous call to animal control about some alarming croaking noises coming from the bridal suite. As it turned out, importing undocumented frogs into Hawaii was a serious offense. Phil might be facing some stiff penalties for bringing his babies along to the wedding. Gary did his best to soothe the situation down, vowing that they’d see about liberating them in the morning, after the ceremony was all done. Phil’d nodded and sniffled, and with a little guidance from an oddly triumphant Scholes, they’d managed to get him dressed and ready for the ceremony at the beach.

Gary was actually running a little late when he finally made it to his hotel room to change. He’d meant to give himself an hour to get ready and instead had only fifteen minutes. Carra was still in the room though, watching some footie highlights on TV and drinking a beer, seeming, in Gary’s humble opinion, far too relaxed given the stressful nature of the situation.

“Why aren’t you down at the site?” Gary asked as he stumbled in, more frazzled than usual.

Jamie looked up from the television and leveled him with a look. “Why aren’t you?”

It was a fair point, but Gary didn’t want to give it to him. Instead he stammered and fumbled around with his shirt and stared at his reflection in the mirror and tried not to scream at the ghastly state of his reflection. Jamie stood up, walked up behind him and kissed the back of his neck, and after several minutes spent futzing with his collar and his hair and every other little detail, the pair of them finally made their way down to the beachfront where Phil would soon become Mister Redknapp.

Gary couldn’t help it: he was still nervous. He still had about a million reservations about the whole relationship, doubts that Phil marrying Redders was the right thing, fears that his brother would end up duped or heartbroken or worse. But he had to admit when he saw Phil on the beach, sunny and happy and positively _glowing_ … it was a lot easier to quiet all of those concerns and just take in the moment. Phil was getting married. Phil was in love. He was laughing, happy, smiling. And Redders too. Beaming, excited, proud. All of their friends were there, everyone had given the union their blessing. How could Gary be the lone hold out? How could he continue to insist that it was wrong when everyone he knew and loved had agreed it was right.

He started to tear up then, and beside him Carra snickered and snuck his arm around Gary’s waist and held him tight. “Calm down, Gary.”

Gary opened his mouth to protest that he was in fact very calm when disaster struck at just that moment. The ceremony wasn’t even officially underway yet, with both grooms having taken their places before the guests, the sunset and beach at their backs, beautiful tropical trees framing the scene, everything picturesque and perfect, when out of nowhere a coconut fell from one of the trees, narrowly missing Redders’ head. He jumped in surprise (as did they all) and everyone let out soft laughs of relief.

“Could’ve been tragic, that,” Phil said, reaching out for Redders.

Redders laughed and started to say something as he took a step toward Phil, tripping over the felled coconut, losing his balance entirely, and stumbling helplessly around until he hit the ground. The snapping sound that accompanied his fall was positively sickening and every guest seemed to simultaneously cry out in horror. It was obvious that poor Redders had just broken his ankle.

“Jamie!” Phil wailed, collapsing to the sand beside his injured almost-husband. “Oh my god, Jamie! Can you get up, darling?”

Redders shook his head, though he tried to stand. The leg was just too busted up to manage it. The officiant stood there is disgust, the guests were all on their feet, unsure what to do.

Phil burst into tears then. “We’ve got to get you to a hospital! Oh, Jamie!”

“No,” Redders protested weakly. “No, we’ve got to get married first. Then—”

“Then we’ll get you to the doctor,” Gary said, joining Phil at Jamie’s side. The brothers carefully lifted Redders up, Carra joining them then to hold Redders in place as the officiant plowed through the condensed version of the ceremony. In six minutes flat, vows and rings were exchanged and Phil Neville and Jamie Redknapp were pronounced husband and husband, sealed with a kiss. The guests burst out in cheers and applause and the paramedics who’d been summoned rushed in to cart Redders off on a stretcher. Phil followed after, clearly shaken by the whole ordeal and went to join his new husband in the ambulance. Gary ran after his brother.

“Phil, wait!”

He looked back, meeting Gary’s gaze. “You have to stay here, Gaz. Take care of our friends. I have to go with Jamie now.”

“But what about the traveler’s insurance information?” Gary asked as the medics loaded a moaning Redders into the back of their vehicle.

“I can handle it,” Phil insisted, hugging Gary quickly. “You take care of the party. I’ll take care of my husband.”

Swallowing back his objections and genuine belief that _no, Phil actually could not handle it_ , Gary watched as the ambulance disappeared down the street, realizing all at once that despite his concerns, in the face of everything that had worried him, there really was no better place for his brother than at the side of the man he loved. Likewise…

“Come on, Gary.”

He turned around and found himself face to face with Carra, standing at the entryway of the hotel lobby, waving him over, waiting for him. Without hesitation, Gary obliged, almost crashing into him. “Can you believe all this? He’s broken his bloody ankle. I knew this was all going to go straight to—”

Jamie silenced Gary with a kiss on the temple as he led him along, back to the ballroom where the reception was underway without the grooms present. “Right, well, the reception’s going to hell too, so you may as well work your organizational magic on it and get the party going, yeah? You know, I think these fellas are liable to riot if they don’t get a proper dinner served here soon. The bar’s opened up but there’s only so much drinking to be done in this heat before we all act right foolish.”

He need say no more. Gary’s innate organizational skills soon kicked in, and between glasses of wine, he’d taken over hosting responsibilities and gotten the entire party under control and underway. The DJ started up the music, cocktails and other libations were served, and before too long, everyone had almost forgotten that the grooms had swiftly departed to tend to a medical emergency.

The party continued on into the evening, with the dinner served before the newlyweds were finished at the hospital. Giggsy even attempted to cut the cake on his own before being chased away, though everyone was left wondering what the hell they should do on the off chance Redders and Phil didn’t return before the night was over. Luckily, it was all resolved when the ballroom doors burst open and Phil wheeled Redders in, his leg in a full cast, both looking equally exhausted and relieved. The wedding guests cheered and the celebrations began anew.

“My god,” Gary exhaled, pulling his brother aside as soon as he could. “You were gone for hours. Is everything alright?”

Phil shrugged weakly, looking back toward the dance floor where his husband was now holding court and several of the guests were lined up to sign their names or draw obscene little pictures on his cast. “He broke his ankle, my poor darling. But he carried on. He carried on, just so he could marry me. I can hardly believe it, I’m so lucky. Never thought I’d land a man like that. My gallant hero.”

“Gallant hero?” Gary scowled. Phil gave him a look and he felt himself melt. “Alright, your gallant hero. He’s as you say.”

“I’m so happy,” Phil sighed, grabbing hold of Gary’s arm. “I don’t think I could be any happier.”

“Even though you married an elderly cripple?”

“Gary!”

“Alright, so maybe he’s not exactly a cripple but he’s quite injury prone, isn’t he? He’s not going to need surgery is he?”

“He’s going to be just fine,” Phil pouted at him. The brothers looked out to the dance floor and watched their friends for a few moments, the music playing, everyone laughing and happy. Especially of note was their respective lovers, both the Jamie’s chatting it up, relaxed and comfortable with the whole group. Gary felt a little flutter in his chest at the sight. His Jamie and Phil’s Jamie, holding court like a pair of princes as the party revolved around them. They were such a fine sight to behold, Gary couldn’t fight the slow smile that crept over him as he watched them. Phil broke the silence between them though, tugging on his brother’s elbow again. “Are you happy, Gaz?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Gary said, turning sharply. “Of course I am. If you are then so am I. Now quit doubting it and go and enjoy your reception. We’ve somehow kept Ryan off the cake, but I don’t know how much longer we can keep that all up.”

Phil chortled at that, then made his way to the dance floor to take a turn at pushing Redders around, spinning his wheelchair in a large circle which the drunken attendees swayed and danced beside. Gary couldn’t help but smile at them. They all looked so cheerful, so pleased by the whole event. And yet…

“Don’t tell me you’re still miserable.”

He jumped, then turned around to face Becks, who handed him a flute of champagne. Gary sighed, taking it and a quick drink. “I’m not miserable. I’m acceptably concerned.”

“About your brother getting married to the man he loves.”

“Yes.”

“Gaz, please.”

Gary blinked at him, a little defiance in his eyes. “Please what?”

“Please grow up. Everyone else has.” David sipped his champagne and gestured at the floor, then over to the tables, where everyone either sat chatting comfortably or was dancing the night away. All of them (mostly) well-adjusted adults with proper lives, functioning correctly in society (most of the time), (generally) fully capable of making rational decisions on their own. All of them enjoying the evening, excited for Phil and Redders, supportive of the marriage, more concerned that Gary was the lone black cloud in the otherwise clear blue sky that was their wedding (accidental injuries and frog confiscations notwithstanding.) It really made him think, and the thought that he came to (for about the millionth time that week) was that he was being an overprotective, overbearing ass.

“I—” He started, cutting himself off as he looked helplessly to David.

David only shook his head. “This is the happiest day of your brother’s life, you realize.”

“I know that.”

“So try and enjoy it. Drink some more champagne. Smile. And come and dance with me.”

Gary opened his mouth to protest, but found that he was already being pulled out onto the dance floor to dance with Becks, the others already out there shouting and trilling in delight as the song abruptly switched to “The Macarena” and everyone was made to join in. Gary felt like a total idiot, but what was he supposed to do? Storm off the floor in horror? Transform into an actual wet blanket? Literally rain on Phil’s parade? No, of course not. Besides, it was pretty fun to dance with his friends, with his sister, with his brother, and his brother-in-law, and Carra…

“You’re the worst dancer I’ve ever seen in me life!” Carra cackled, stooped over at the edge of the dance floor, watched the inept display that was Gary dancing. “Do you even know the steps, Gaz? Have mercy on us all!”

Rather than huff in protest, Gary reached out and took hold of Jamie’s sleeve, pulling him in close, in essence forcing him to join the line dance that was taking shape. “Enough talk, Carra. Let’s see if you can do any better.”

Jamie Carragher never could turn down a challenge, especially not with a dirty Manc involved. Having had a proper amount to drink, he had no reservations about taking to the floor and taking Gary in his arms, pulling him closer, close enough that they might’ve kissed if they’d wanted to steal some of the spotlight away from the grooms. Which Carra might’ve, Gary realized as he felt his lover’s lips pressed to his neck.

“Jamie,” he sighed, arms around him, laughing in spite of everything. He felt so foolish, but then, in that moment it hardly seemed to matter.

“Gary,” Jamie grinned back, kissing his neck again. What they were doing barely counted as dancing, more like clinging onto each other, but neither was complaining, and no one else was paying them much mind. “You wanna get out of here?”

Gary nodded, and the pair of them exited the party and headed outside.

They’d been sitting down on the beach for about fifteen minutes, side by side, feet buried in the sand, when Gary finally sort of lost it. At first he was laughing, quietly and to himself, but it quickly devolved into a manic sort of cry. Carra stared at him, wide eyed, unsure, then put his arms around Gary’s shoulder and just listened.

“I’ve been horrible,” Gary said, laughing bitterly. “And I knew it and I couldn’t stop it. They’re happy. They’ve been happy for years, and I’ve been bitter and ugly to them. I’ve disparaged them. I’ve been mean. And everyone sees it. Even I see it. God, why can’t I just be happy for them, Carra?” Jamie said nothing. Gary growled desperately, “Carra?”

“Sometimes that sort of thing’s difficult,” he provided after a little sigh. “You’ve always been the one looking out for him, haven’t you?”

Gary leaned against Jamie and nodded.

“And now that’s for Redders to see to,” Jamie continued.

“He doesn’t need me anymore.”

“Don’t be such a tit.” Carra looked like he might roll his eyes. Gary scowled at him. “You’re so overly dramatic. Phil’s not gonna need you anymore? What sort of nonsense is that? He needs you now. He’s needed you this whole time.”

The lines in Gary’s forehead deepened as he stared Carra down. “What do you mean?”

“I mean he’s been trying to make you a part of this from the start, hasn’t he? Phil’s done everything to include you in his happiness, Gary.” Gary kept on frowning at him. Carra sighed. “How soon after Redders asked him out on a proper date did Phil ring you about it?”

“Ten minutes, probably.”

“A-ha, and when they got engaged, how long’d it take for you to know about it?”

“Fifteen minutes, I think.”

“And he’s let you organize everything to do with this whole wedding. Who stayed up late with him to write out the invitations?”

“Tracey.”

“That’s beside the point. You were there too. You were there because he wanted you to be there, because despite the fact that you’re an absolute wanker, your brother still idolizes you and wants your approval.”

“But I don’t understand them,” Gary protested, wishing then that he had some sort of psychic connection to Jamie. If only that sort of thing was real, if only Jamie could read his mind and then fully grasp the anguish in his heart. He only wanted what was best for his brother. Couldn’t he see that? Couldn’t he understand?

“If you don’t understand it, it’s not for you,” Jamie said, eyes narrowing. The look in Jamie’s eyes almost had him shivering. It wasn’t a cold look, it wasn’t dismissive, it was the heat in his expression that made Gary squirm. It was the sort of look that reminded him that his Jamie actually understood him a lot better than he sometimes gave him credit for.  “Do you think any of your mates understand what you see in me?  Or that mine understand what I see in you?  It's irrelevant, isn't it?  Because at the end of the day, we're happy.  So use your brain, you intelligent bastard.  Phil's in love with Jamie.  Whether you understand it or whether you think it's alright doesn't factor into it at all.  It's not about you, Gary, and it never has been.  Seriously, mate, you need to get over yourself.”

That hurt.  It was like a slap in the face.  But it faded in a few seconds, and instead of aching, Gary felt a sort of ringing in his head.  It wasn't about him, it never had been.  He needed to get over it and learn to be happy.  At the end of the day, whether he approved of the relationship or not, it didn't fucking matter.  The same rules of love that applied to him and his Jamie applied to Phil and Redders.  Nothing would keep them apart.  There was no prize for coming around... aside from the joy associated with sharing in the experience of his brother's happiest moment.  And that was prize enough, wasn't it?  Why would he risk missing out on such joy, or worse, spoiling it?  And what did it matter if he didn't understand it?  Phil understood it, and it was _Phil_ who had to live with Jamie Redknapp as a spouse, not him!

Instinctively, Gary tightened his hold on Jamie’s arm and stared at him imploringly. “I should apologize to him.”

“Yeah, you should.”

“And to Redders.”

“Yes, that too.”

He tilted his head so he cold see Jamie’s eyes again. “And to you.”

Carra’s lip twitched into a puzzled expression, like he hadn’t seen that part coming. “What for?”

“For making you put up with me.”

Jamie let out a howl of a laugh then and pulled Gary down so that they were both lying on their backs in the sand, expensive wedding outfits be damned. “Give me a bit more credit, won’t you?”

Gary rolled so that he was mostly on top of him, looking down at him with a perplexed look of his own. “Hm?”

Jamie could only grin. “I knew what I was getting into when I started dating a Manc. You could only be trouble. A certain level of insanity can’t be helped, it’s practically bred into you, or it’s in the water. But if anything, you and yours are a bit tamer than I’d expected. A bit of a let down, if I’m being honest. I’d been expecting some genuine lunacy when I married in. Instead, you only do it in half measures. Which, I’m not complaining about, I just think it’s worth noting that you really could be much worse.”

“We’re not married yet,” Gary reminded him in an almost offended huff. “And besides that, we’ve all been on our absolute best behavior this vacation, unlike some people.”

Carra laughed, shaking his head. “Hey now, we didn’t cause any trouble. Nobody got arrested and no one brought any hookers back to the hotel.”

“Something to brag about, definitely.”

“Not bragging, just stating the facts.” Jamie smiled, reaching to card his fingers through Gary’s hair. “Come on, Gaz. Let’s go make nice, yeah? How often does your little brother get married?”

“Only the one time, I hope,” Gary grumbled as he rolled off.

They held hands walking back to the reception, but by then the grooms had retired to the bridal suite, leaving only a few intoxicated guests behind still. Giggsy had, at some point, gotten hold of a microphone and was serenading the guests with a stirring karaoke performance that was not to be missed. Gary’s heartfelt apology would have to wait until morning.

He woke early and made a few phone calls while Carra snored in the bed across the room, and he’d already had two cups of tea by the time Carra got his ass out of bed and up for the day.

“You’re a chipper one,” Carra groaned as he stumbled toward the shower. “How aren’t you hungover?”

“My superior Mancunian genetics,” Gary said, smiling to himself as he watched his fiancé flip him the bird and shut the door behind him.

The wedding guests all eventually made it down from their rooms for a late breakfast, several of them looking worse for wear thanks to the open bar from the night before. They all nursed their fresh fruit juices and chatted quietly, the whole room had a low buzz about it up until the moment when Phil and Redders made their triumphant entrance, at which point everyone started to cheer.

“Haha!” Giggsy crowed. “Surprised you lot showed up! And how _was_ the wedding night, lads?”

The pair of them laughed it off as Phil helped his husband off his crutches and into his chair. It was just then that a waiter tapped Gary on the shoulder and whispered something in his ear. He stood abruptly, and Carra gave him a baffled look. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Gary said quickly. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

And he was, with a small parcel in hand, which no one noticed as they were all distracted by their breakfasts. Gary strode up to his brother’s table and set the little box in Phil’s lap.

“What’s this?” Phil asked as he set his fork down, wide eyed and smiling. “A wedding gift?”

“Something like that,” Gary said, unable to hide his delight.

“Should I open it now?”

“If you won’t, I will,” Redders said, reaching for the box. Phil laughed, and together they lifted the lid and found themselves face to face with six teeny, tiny brownish colored frogs. Phil gasped out loud.

“Gary!” He wailed, eyes welling up with tears. “Are these what I think they are?”

“They’re frogs,” Gary said helpfully.

“Coquís?” Phil whimpered.

Gary nodded. “I made a couple of calls this morning to see about replacing the ones animal control seized from you.”

Phil started to cry. Redders rubbed his back soothingly as Frank hurriedly put the lid back onto the box. “But…” Phil sniffled. “But… _how_?”

“These ones are considered an invasive species. Apparently they’re quite desperate to get rid of them, so they were eager to send a few of them over to get them off the island.”

“Oh my god,” Phil wept.

“That’s so thoughtful of you, Gary,” Redders said, still comforting his husband.

“Yeah, Gaz. Very thoughtful of you.” Scholesy looked at him with dead eyes.

“Now we can…. we can…” Phil paused to blow his nose into his napkin. “We can fall asleep every night to the lovely sound of the Coquí cry.”

Gary smiled as he took his seat beside Carra again, watching in quiet approval as his brother and brother-in-law fussed over their new pets and debated names with the guests.

Jamie nudged him, mouth fixed in a little half-smirk. “They’re never going to get any sleep now, you realize.”

“They’re newlyweds, James. They’re not going to sleep much anyway.”

“Touché,” Jamie laughed taking a drink of his juice. “We’re next, you know. Unless this whole debacle’s had you change your mind.”

Gary gave him a sly smile. “Not in a million years. You’re well stuck with me, thanks.”

“Good.”

Gary looked back toward his brother, then around the room at all of their friends. It was still mind boggling to think that all of this had happened. His brother, in love with that posh Cockney twat, shacked up with him, _married_ to him, and all of them gathered in a tropical paradise to watch and celebrate. How had it come to all of that? Why hadn’t he seen it coming? How could he have been so blindsided as not to realize how serious it all was? Was he really that stupid, that caught up in himself that he truly hadn't noticed what was right before his eyes? He let out a long held sigh and looked back to Carra, reaching a hand under the table to place it on his knee. Yes, he realized. He was blind to certain things, the same way anyone might be. But blind as he was, he wasn’t dumb. He might not have recognized Phil’s true love straight away, but at least he could recognize his own.

“Jamie,” he said softly.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s get married.”

“We’re going to.”

“I mean now. Here.”

Jamie laughed. Gary set his jaw. “What? You’re serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious.” He narrowed his eyes, actually surprised by Jamie’s reaction, actually _worried_ that perhaps over the course of breakfast he’d changed his mind.

For his part, Carra started laughing as he sank back into his chair, “Who gets married in Hawaii, Gaz?”

“Lots of people, actually,” Gary said. Jamie stopped laughing, looked at him, and sighed, and in that instant Gary knew he’d won.

“Alright, old man. Let’s make an honest gentleman out of you.”

And from across the room, from inside the little box at the head of the newlyweds’ table, the contraband amphibians began to sing.

**Author's Note:**

> \- Basically I stole a bunch of headcanon from Rach for this fic. It’s lovingly dedicated to her and you can blame everything on her including the title which she picked out.  
> \- I started writing this a few weeks back when I was in Hawaii. I saw like seven weddings on the same beach in one morning.  
> \- The song Giggsy sings at the reception is ['Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kybeq2dWBf8) by Glenn Medeiros. The singer is from Hawaii and it’s been used on Coronation Street in a wedding episode, so I thought it fit.  
> \- The [Coquí](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA_9_zAK5sA) is a frog native to Puerto Rico. It’s small and really loud and it’s considered an invasive species in Hawaii. As far as I know, it’s not found on Kauai, so that bit’s completely made up. However on the Big Island there’s been eradication programs in place to get rid of the frogs.  
> \- It's a big no-no to smuggle frogs into Hawaii, but for the sake of the story, we'll let Phil off easy for once, yeah? :3


End file.
